As long as it’s not distressing for you to think about this person, be assured that it’s both normal and okay. Human behavior is fascinating, and there’s nothing wrong with being curious. Maybe, they operate totally differently than you do, and although you are no longer in contact, your relationship with them left you wondering why they feel the way they do or why they make the actions they make. It could also be that this person was a mystery to you, and you’re continuously curious about how they work. It doesn’t always have to be as prevalent or as painful as someone cheating on you. When you think about someone from your past, you might be looking for that closure. For example, you might have suspected that someone cheated on you and have evidence to back it up, but you never got closure. Similar to feelings of past hurt or pain, there might be something that was completely unresolved in the relationship. Learn from what you went through, but don’t let it spoil new connections before they start. You might consider seeing a mental health professional, or you might reflect on what kind of treatment you’ll accept from people in the future. If you’re thinking of someone because they hurt you, be sure to take the steps needed to work through this pain. You might think of what you could’ve or should’ve said, or you might imagine a scenario where they treated you differently. If someone from your past hurt you, you might rehash situations in your head, such as an argument you had, and attempt to resolve what wasn’t resolved during the connection. It can be tough to let go of the things that hurt us. You don’t have to feel ashamed or conflicted the good and the bad can both exist. You can cherish these memories without forgetting that this person wasn’t right for you. If you’re missing someone who treated you poorly, it could be that you don’t miss them at all, but the times that you had together still stand out in your mind. You might think of events you went to together or vacations you went on. Especially in relationships or friendships that lasted for a long time, you’re bound to have had a lot of special times together. Even if the relationship ultimately turned sour, you might find yourself thinking about someone from the past simply because you have good memories of them and feel nostalgic.
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